5. Humans And Sexuality
Although not new, sexuality is still a persistent problem that will haunt us until the end of time, because it is no exaggeration to say that it is a source of boundless creative energy, with a rich love that is always renewed and is the sublimation of wisdom. So many beautiful epics, masterpieces of poetry, melodious love songs, and sad movies all have a touch of sexual instinct. If sexuality is God’s gift to humans, as Pope Francis reiterated in the apostolic exhortation Amoris Laetitia, “Sexuality is God’s wonderful gift to creatures”, then it must be respected, honored, and its value publicly expressed.
But it seems that, for many people, sexuality is still a taboo topic, even despised, hidden away like something dirty and ugly. Why is it so bad?
I. SEXUALITY AND SCIENCE
1) Sexuality is a natural instinct:
The human body is a very complicated biological apparatus, structured by nature, with specialized components, to preserve the species and pass it on to the next generation. Sexuality is the natural innate orientation no ordinary people can get rid of.
Beside the reproductive function, sexual behaviors help the couple to express their intimate feelings of attachment, love, sympathy, support, and co-responsibility for educating children and helping each other in the familial joy and happiness. Sexuality brings pleasure, mental and physical strength, and helps people feel happy and optimistic in their life.
2) Sexual orientation:
Normally, like mammals in nature, the Creator created two clearly different genders, male and female, or men and women in the mankind, in order for procreation. This is called heterosexuality.
In addition to the vast majority of people being heterosexual as arranged by nature, there are still some sexual orientations that result from genetics, hormones, or particular social circumstances, creating different sexual orientations which we collectively call LGBT.
– L for lesbian
– G for gay
– B for bisexual
– T for transgender
3) Sexuality and psychoanalysis:
Sigmund Freud (1856-1939) was the father of modern psychoanalysis. He was the first to point out the importance of the unconscious in psychological activities.
According to modern psychoanalysis, the conflict between the conscious and the unconscious creates hidden and repressed memories that can disturb psychological life, causing mental disorders such as anxiety, depression, and madness. …
The solution to psychological balance is to release pent-up memories and bring them to consciousness. Thus there are many actions that are determined by the conscious mind under to the compulsion of the unconscious, which we do not know or recognize.
2. SEXUALITY IN THE BIBLE
1. Old Testament.
Viewpoints on sexuality sex seemed very liberal in the Old Testament books. Many times we feel something very shocking and confusing, embarrassing and wild, even in respectable characters like Abraham. The Bible says there was a famine causing Abraham to flee to Egypt. Seeing that his wife Sara was beautiful, afraid of being harmed, Abraham told his wife: “Look, I know you are a beautiful woman. When the Egyptians see you, they will say: “That is his wife!”, and they will kill me and let you live. So please say that you are my sister, so that people will treat me well for your sake” (Gen 12:11-13). And indeed, the king of Egypt saw beautiful Sarah, slept with her, and gave Abraham many cattle and laborers. The Lord punished the king of Egypt and after that, the king returned Sarah to Abraham and sent him away.
Lot’s story is even more disgusting: after God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah because of their overwhelming sin, Lot went up the mountain to stay in a cave with his two daughters. The two girls discussed serving wine to their father so that they could have sex with him, hoping for an heir: “The older sister gave birth to a son and named him Moab; that is the ancestor of the Moabites today. The younger sister also gave birth to a son and named him Ben Ammi; this is the ancestor of the Ammonites today” (Gen 19:37-38).
King David’s sex life was much worse. Admiring the beauty of Bathsheba, Uriah’s wife, while she bathed, David took over her sexually and plotted to transfer Uriah, her husband, to the battlefield, to kill him using the enemy’s hand, in order to take over his loyal servant’s wife, and David was satisfied with that deplorable conspiracy. “When the Uriah’s wife heard that her husband had died, she mourned her lord. But once the mourning was over, David sent for her and brought her into his house. She became his wife and bore him a son. But in the sight of the LORD what David had done was evil” (2 S 11:26-27).
David regretted his actions. Then David said to prophet Nathan, “I have sinned against the LORD.” Nathan answered David: “For his part, the LORD has removed your sin. You shall not die, but since you have utterly spurned the LORD by this deed, the child born to you will surely die” (2 S 12:13-14).
Polygamy, violence, sexual abuse, adultery, rape, contempt for women’s dignity, prostitution, incest, are not uncommon in the Old Testament books.
In a half-civilized tribal society, with under-developed culture, nomadic life, fighting and killing for survival, land appropriation, victories for the strongest, honor of male strength, struggles against harsh nature, hunger … nothing was difficult to understand about such a wild sex life. The harsh punishment shows us a society where governance is still based on fear and punishment to stabilize and maintain order. It is different in the New Testament. People no longer live in fear and slavery but in freedom, grace and love …
2. The New Testament:
Jesus said: “I have not come to abolish the law, but to fulfill it” (Mt 5:17), the time has come, according to God’s plan of salvation. The New Testament fulfilled what the Old Testament had not done yet. One could say that, Jesus’s words “It is finished” (Jn 19:30) while dying on the cross, expressed this meaning of his mission.
God’s revelation to mankind was complete in Jesus. And the death on the cross is the culmination of the plan of salvation, showing His love for man, the creature He created and was very “pleased” with, and “God sees that everything he has made is very good” (Gen 1:31).
So is sexuality. Surely we will recognize its true meaning in the gospel taught by the Lord.
a) Sexuality and human dignity:
Jesus “normalized” and considered the relationship between men and women to be a natural one. The Jewish society is also somewhat similar to our old Confucian feudal society with the concept of “male and female distance”, with respect for men and contempt for women.
Jesus rested next to a well and talked with a Samaritan woman, while the disciples went into the city to buy food.
On their return, “They were amazed to see him talking to a woman” (Jn 4:27).
Social stratification was everywhere, especially among the Jews: the priests and the Pharisees were seated first, and the lowest classes were listed as sinners like tax collectors, and especially prostitutes who were despised and avoided in socialization: ” You shall not offer a prostitute’s fee or a dog’s pay as any kind of votive offering in the house of the LORD, your God; both these things are an abomination to the LORD, your God” (Dt 23:19).
Jesus freed the minds of the wise in upper classes of society, the scribes and the Pharisees, so that they should respect people of these so-called lower classes: “Tax collectors and prostitutes will enter the kingdom of God before you” (Mt 21:31).
Or the story of an adulterous woman: “The scribes and Pharisees brought before Jesus a woman caught in adultery. They put her in the middle and said to him, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the book of the law, Moses commanded us to stone those women. What do you think?” They said this in order to test him, to have evidence against him. But Jesus bent down and wrote on the ground with his finger. Because they kept asking, he looked up and said to them: “Whoever among you is without sin, let him throw the first stone. Then he stooped again and wrote on the ground. Hearing this, they all left, one after the other, starting with the elderly, leaving only Jesus, and the woman standing in the middle. He looked up and said: “Hey sister, where are they? No one condemns you?” The woman replied, “Sir, there is no one.” Jesus said, “Neither do I, I do not condemn you! Now go, and from now on sin no more” (John 8:3-11).
Jesus guided those in the old strict law-abiding society, which was insensitive to the frailty of man, toward a humane society full of humanity, sympathy, and forgiveness: ” Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her” (Jn 8:7). And also to put man at the center: “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath” (Mk 2:28). It is true that Jesus bring the rule of law applied to childish, immature people toward the human rule of a society of understanding, love, tolerance and compassion, which are characteristics of the Church of Christ?
b) Responsible sexuality, human identity and gender equality:
Sexuality is not possession, but first of all:
a responsibility: “The husband should fulfill his duty toward his wife, and likewise the wife toward her husband” (1 Cor 7:3).
It is human dignity: ” Avoid immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the immoral person sins against his own body” (1 Cor 6:18). “For you have been purchased at a price.” (1 Cor 6:20).
And it is equality: “A wife does not have authority over her own body, but rather her husband, and similarly a husband does not have authority over his own body, but rather his wife” (1 Cor 7:4).
Adultery and fornication come from within, from thoughts, not from outward appearance: “Everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Mt 5:27). Thus it is clear: According to the New Testament sexuality is not a one-sided appropriation, not to satisfy instinctual desires, but expresses a genuine marriage, in the spirit of respect for each other’s bodies, in a personal relationship of voluntary and equal love.
Men and women are born with differences to complement each other to survive and develop. There must have been a balance so that humans could exist since the beginning of the world and are still developing. The gender inequality we spot here and there is only the surface. Phenomena of brute force and violence seem to be women oppression, but few people realize that “willows are weak yet they bind other wood”. Reality proves that the dominant power of men has been neutralized.
God created the mankind male and female. Men belong to yang, showing strength, hardiness, hard work, persistence, reasonable judgment, extroversion … Women, on the contrary, are meek, emotional, introversion … and belong to yin. In a society that requires strength to cope with adversity such as a nomadic life, farm labor, and war, the role of men is emphasized.
In the Old Testament, the New Testament to this day, in fact, women are still assistants to men. Saint Paul still did not accept women without their veils; women should dress to look like women. Similarly, in many eastern churches today, women still take their reserved seats. In the Church today, the main role in pastoral and liturgy is still reserved for men. In developed countries, the role of women is highly valued and has become law. But since the founding of the country, not one of the 46 US presidents has been female. However, no one denies the dignity of women and has respect for men and contempt for women. Perhaps the opposite is true.
At some point, society will not consider the role of strength as the top necessity, but rather intelligence and ingenuity. Women would be freed from housework, childbirth, and go out to work more. I think things will be different, and the problem is only the limitation of historical ages, not the inequal status between men and women.
3. CHURCH TEACHING
1/ Church consultation and reconciliation:
Sexuality, as we know, is a very complex issue everyone has. It is very intense and personal, private and secret, not easy to express. It has a heavy impact on each person’s life, often leaving psychological trauma, causing serious consequences.
First of all, according to psychoanalysis, it needs a trustworthy counselor and a release mechanism to bring balance. For Christians, the priest represents God in the sacrament of reconciliation, with full ability and real authority to take on that role. Come and confide your secret problems and let God’s mercy forgive and soothe all the sufferings of your soul: “I will support and strengthen you…and your soul will be at peace” (Mt 11:28-29). The Church holds revealed truth for reference, to illuminate what is true.
But as analyzed, psychological behavior is extremely complex. The human soul is a closed, private garden, not easy to explore and especially as far as we know, it operates largely by unconscious mechanisms that the subject himself find very obscure. Therefore, in some cases, the individual must resolve the matter according to his or her honest conscience.
2/ The role of conscience:
Regarding the role of conscience, the Second Vatican Council, in Constitution “Joy and Hope” article 16, says: “In the depths of his conscience, man detects a law which he does not impose upon himself, but which holds him to obedience. Always summoning him to love good and avoid evil, the voice of conscience when necessary speaks to his heart: do this, shun that.
For man has in his heart a law written by God; to obey it is the very dignity of man; according to it he will be judged. Conscience is the most secret core and sanctuary of a man. There he is alone with God, Whose voice echoes in his depths.”
In fact, the objective voice of conscience is often distorted due to poor perception or many other subjective factors. Advice and adjustment is needed, and the person should not decide by himself.
Conclusion:
Chastity is not about eliminating lust or desire, but quite the opposite. It is also not “romantic” to let the shore overflow with unruly, unprincipled waves. It is self-restrain, self-control, and our great blessing will be to see God’s face, like it is mentioned the eight beatitudes preached by the Lord on the mountain: “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God” (Mt 5:8).